"I'm a little scared, Mommy."
"That's ok, Angel Baby, everyone here is a little scared. But, I'll tell you a secret. The trick is to use that energy to make you go faster."
This coming from the mom that never participated in any team or organized sports. I really have no idea where this stuff comes from, but it was pretty good, don't ya think?
What it comes down to is, I know my child, and I know that she is nothing if not determined.
As it turns out, she needed that determination that day.
Since Chris and I were "team leaders" (meaning, we were in charge of the kids while they were on deck prior to and after their heats), we were both able to be with Morgan for quite a while. And wear these super awesome, highly trendy orange shirts.

Don't we look
good?

Morgan always seems confident. You would never know she has butterflies in her tummy.
Soon after this, I turned her over to one of the Deck Marshalls to line up for her heat. (It was as we were walking over there that we had the "I'm scared" conversation.) She was grinning from ear to ear as she walked over to the starting blocks. And I was proud of her, it didn't matter how well she did, I was just amazed at how far she had come in her swimming abilities and the fact that she was not going to let her fears get the best of her.
Then, as they were preparing to dive in, one of the girls fell off the starting block. Morgan thought she had missed the start buzzer and dove in as well. And swam.

She didn't hear the false start warning, so she kept going. She swam the entire length. I was able to get to her as she came out of the pool. It was heartbreaking to watch her face go from pride at having finished to dismay and embarrassment at finding out she had been swimming alone. She cried and I held her, and then we walked back to go line up again. I gave her a kiss and a hug as I passed her off to a deck marshall again (I wasn't allowed past a certain point)--luckily this was another mom from our team and Morgan knew her. Morgan was still sobbing, but it never occurred to her to not do it again. I didn't have to push or even ask, she was upset but that wasn't going to stop her from swimming in her race.
The assistant coach was waiting near the starting blocks and picked Morgan up and held her for a moment before helping her get back onto the starting blocks. (We are so lucky to have such a close-knit, family oriented team!) Morgan prepared to dive in again, and dove off the block the instant the buzzer sounded again.

(morgan is the second from the left)
Apparently the conversation we had earlier about using the energy from our fears to make you go faster had an impact. That little girl was swimming faster than she had ever had before.

She led almost the entire way, missing first place in her heat (not overall) by less than half a second, and improving her own best time by eleven seconds! This is
after she already swam the race distance one time (and when you are five years old, that takes a lot out of you!).
But that isn't what we are most proud of. I am proud that my little girl, despite being upset, despite being embarrassed, made the decision to get back up there. I couldn't tell from where I was, but I wouldn't be surprised if she had still be crying as she was preparing to dive in a second time. And yet, she dove in and swam her little heart out. I have always known that the determination, the strong will, and the sometimes unwillingness to bend would serve her well when she was the master of those traits (rather than them mastering her). That day, I saw her master them in full and I had a glimpse of how strong and amazing a woman she is going to be. Is that a bit much to get out of her first swim championship? Maybe. But I don't think so.
Right now, though, she is still our little girl and we are enjoying every heartbreak and every joy. And especially the hugs that come along with both.

PS since my brother in law wouldn't have condoned us taking her to Dairy Queen, we took her to the gourmet frozen custard place instead. (
click here if you don't know the Dairy Queen story)